learning

i'm not sure i'm ready for this. i don't know who i have become. this new person makes decisions differently, acts differently, thinks differently. i've thrown some ideals out the window, captured some new ones.

'it's all part of the learning process'

can i blame this distortion, this feeling of discomfort, on the learning process? or is there really only one way towards which to shift the blame? maybe it's time to take some responsibility. to step up the game and get into the right groove. i thought i had found my niche, but i guess it was temporary. of course - what was i thinking? it was too ideal. too perfect. too easy. life isn't supposed to be easy, right? there are supposd to be obstacles and challenges. i guess i'm facing them now and the only way to gain some perspective is to get through them.

gain some perspective.

doesn't that sound all too simple? i love the word perspective. but it's such a small word for its big meaning. to me, it means getting some experience, looking at life from different angles, being well-rounded and unbiased.

yeah. i definitely need some of this.

so where to start?