what constitutes perfection..and happiness

*inspired by kea. cus shes amazing.

i used to be so sure that everything in my mind that alluded to perfection was true, was right. i was clearly wrong. there is no such thing as perfection. there is always something that mars the whole picture. and surprisingly, that makes me sigh with great relief. me, even being the perfectionist that i am, i've come to terms tonight with being less than perfect. i guess observing someone's life from a distance, even for five minutes, as a whole, i was really jealous of everything she had, everything she was, everything she did. i'm being realistic for once in my life. and the purpose of me writing this is just self reassurance that a) its okay to not be perfect and b) i can shed this layer of green jealousy.

oh and that i have a good life as it is. i've been thinking a lot about it these past couple of months when i've been MIA. small things have blocked my entire view on life or something like it. i said i would work on my issues as a new years resolution. issues being self-deprecatory,depending on solely other people to validate my happiness and self worth, and being happier withmyself and with what i have in front of me. right now. at this moment. i want to take everythingwith a giant sweep and say 'it's okay. take it and love it'. i wish i could be less of a hater and more of a lover. love for life and what it is and what it brings me. because life brings
the change i see in me and in others.
opportunity to grow and learn.
love that brings laughter .

and i want to stop hating for what it's not bringing me. because frankly, it's brought me alot. i just have to look around. i guess i could start right now. so this was all about me opening my eyes. and starting over again. it's never too late to figure out what perfection really is about. it takes a lifetime to figure out anyways.

siempre