the storm is passing over

haha that reminded me of ismf.

calculus is the death of me. who the hell invented it. actualy i can answer that question, so don't get too excited to tell me. i just don't understand how for the first time in my life i actually try hard and don't succeed. i also sense this will become the story of my life. so when i get my exam back tomorrow, ill just squeeze my eyes shut real tight and pray that ill be able to handle the big fat 0 that is bound to atop my exam.
freaking out just about now with all the things on my plate. its kinda funny cus i keep telling myself that the worst is over, and that technically i have no work left. there are five weeks left. what an idiot i am. of course theres a lot of work to be done.
----goals in life at the moment----
[ ] get a grip
[ ] keep organized
[ ] find someone remotely interesting
[ ] stop wishing i was in maine

xo-h
p.s. i hate paperwork.
p.p.s. im sorry for the disjointed blog. i really am.

currently listening to:
grace is gone- dave matthews band
careful- guster
fire and rain- james taylor
only living boy in new york -simon and garfunkel
as i lay me down to sleep- sophie b. hawkins

whao, was i ever in a 'd' mood- all the artists of my currently listening to list started with a d!
you know when you're happy, but stressed? i guess thats what i am right now. the mountain of work seems unbearable but we have 6 weeks left. and happy because for the first time in a while, it seems like everything is aligned the way a) it's supposed to be b) i wanted it to be.

i dont usually quote the Bible, or anything too much, i guess because it seems cheese, but if something impacts me, it impacts me big.
proverbs 11:19- I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.
i cried during todays sermon. i think that says something. something big.

h
love

currently listening to:
#41- dave matthews band
all my life- kci and jojo
barrel of a gun- guster
forever- ben harper
the only living boy in new york- simon and garfunkel

if music be the food of... wait...

geeks like me like gatherings such as ismf. geeks like me like singing their heart out. but geeks like me are still unique.
i love music. i dont know why. i cant stop listening to it. i can't stop playing it. i can't stop making it. instead of delving into deep philosophical discussions about this, however, i will stop myself.
update: im doing better. i didnt even cry when i looked at pictures. so who's the one who needs help now? its not liek i dont miss them, because i do. everytime i talk to them i get a little pang in my heart that tells me i miss them and love them. but i can deal. and i have so many people to thank for that. as soon as i offered myself to the people in my life today and now things have taken a turn for the better. so i love you all.
update: i'm being dumb again. help.

currently listening to:
christmas song- dave matthews band
caravan- duke ellington
caught by the river- the doves
listen to the music- the doobie brothers
strawberry wine- deana carter

love,
h