the way things were
i think i may cry. the funny part is, (yes there's a funny part) it's all so in my head and dumb. i just guess i can never control the way i feel. there's something embarassing about the fact that i need to talk to someone about getting back. its been two fucking months. two. someone called it the 'chewonki hangover' . i said fuck you.
i just guess recent incidents have catapulted me into the dark abyss of emotional twists and turns. and i say dark, because it is. i find high comfort in (my) guitar and my journal. nothing and no one else. a little hermit-ish, dont you think? well aren't we all. a small part of us all just can't wait for the quiet.
why can't things be the way they were? or better yet, the way they were before they were.
it just seems like change screws up everything. except i experienced change, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. but it takes a toll on what you've known your whole life and all your relationships. i dont think im up for this right now.
h
posted by chiquitaxl @ Sunday, February 27, 2005
2 Comments:
lol way to go carolyn on reposting her comment three times
it made me laugh.
FUCK BIO, eh heidi? Ugh ...
I hate that you feel so shitty all the time Heidi. I feel like this is a good venting thing for you though. I think it's easier to vent by writing/typing whatever your thoughts are. sometimes they don't even make a hell of a lot of sense - at least that's me. but it still helps heeps. and as well, you can edit your rant whereas you can't when you're atlking to someone. i'm not very articulate so i have to do that a lot. ... k so now i'm rambling lol and SOOOO screwed for stupid bio. i hate bio. but i love bio, it's so interesting. but i hate the amount of work and how number three is worth ten marks. buM!!!
march break in a week. deep breaths.
we'll make it through together, love
xo
HEY HOMO..CHIIIIIIIIN UP..SMILE.. hahahha i can just imagine myself saying that to you..boot camp styles.. like on maury.. oh wait.. nvm..u dont watch those trash shows neways..MY BAD..anyways.. .. i am.. motherly?.. AH ERASE ERASE ERASE..hahahha good night psycho IM OLD IM OLD I WANT TO DIE IM TOO OLD IM 3 YRS AWAY FROM 20 THATS 30 AWAY FROM 50 WHICH IS LIKE WAY OVER THE FREAKIN HILL...:(.. im dreading that hill.. :D i bet u know why im smiling.. BUT KEEP IT ON THE DOWN LOW hahahha.. its all fun n games until SOMEBODY BECOMES A REBOUND.. but that'll never happen to me.. im too cool for that.. :D later homie
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